I feel like I'm not awake

Date: 23 Nov. 2007
Location: In my room, in the area of Adidogomé, Lomé, Togo
Time: 8.20 a.m.

I can't believe I'm here. I'm having a very strange combination of feelings. You know how sometimes you have something coming up soon and you have dreams about it in anticipation of what it'll be like? I feel like I'm having one of those dreams. It hasn't completely clicked that I've left everything that I know behind and am now in a completely different environment. I don't really know what to do with myself.

I'm sure my family is freaking out at the moment since I haven't gotten in touch yet. I'm also very anxious, there are so many people I want to call, and it's making me really restless! Basically in our village, there are a few "communications centres" which consist of a small room with a desk, 2 chairs, and a phone which is connected up to this metre, for making national and international calling. So my host mother, Clara, after bringing me some breakfast told me to come with her to try and call my folks. So I got my hopes up, started getting really excited, started dialing, but then it didn't work. I kept trying, but not only was it still charging me, but it wouldn't connect. I think the built up anxiety and anticipation of being reconnected with a familiar voice has resulted in me now feeling slightly depressed. I hate this feeling - I start thinking about how hard this will all be and how I just want to go home.

A proper update will come soon when I'm not such a grump. Promise.