Final week!

Date: 9 January 2008

I met the new intern this week. My "replacement".

I've come to the conclusion that meeting and interacting with other Yovos is now a strange experience. Very strange.

First of all, they seem very very white. Like very white. This girl was Finnish and I kept staring at her skin, almost in disbelief. Yes, I do realise how odd I sound right now.

I also talk differently. I guess I got used to speaking to people who weren't fluent in English so I automatically simplify my words, slow down my speech, cut out any slang, and just don't sound like myself at all. It's almost a relief to just talk like myself, without having to worry whether the other person will miss something that I've said.

We talked about things that only Yovos really notice in Africa, also very weird. For example, "So do you ever drink tap water?", "Man how weird is the fish sometimes", "Have you seen that AIDS billboard with the old guy on it?" (I only mentioned that because there are many shocking billboards on the roadsides - ask me about them and I'll tell you. SHOCKING. Shocking enough that I can't bring myself to elaborate right here.)

I suddenly felt like home wasn't that far away. I don't know how to explain this really. Okay, so I'm leaving on Sunday morning. It's weird - going back to ordinary life doesn't seem possible. Like, I guess that being here is so different to my "normal" life that going back to it feels like I'm going to another planet, and that either my life before Togo, or my mini-life in Togo, were just dreams that I had once upon a time. After being here for 7 weeks, I've gotten used to a lot of things, and un-used to a lot of things that were habits before. When I first got here, it felt like I was going to be here for a really long time, and it was difficult to come to grips with it. But then with any change in lifestyle, you eventually get into the swing of things, you find things that make you feel like a place is home, you find your way around, figure out how to get the things you need, the way things are done, understand certain cultural differences a little more, and you make friends and synchronise with your new life.

It's interesting comparing who you were before such an experience with who you are afterwards. There are a lot, and I mean a LOT of things that I'm used to now that I never ever ever thought I could possibly ever be okay with. Even just a lot of personal characteristics that I've had to suppress or overcome, and others that I've had to develop and improve. Sometimes I'll just look around at my surroundings and it hits me just how different this life is to "my life". I'm in Africa. Rasha is in Africa. I thought about this trip a lot before I came here, trying to imagine what it would be like, and whether I'd go through with it or whether I could handle it. In a sense I guess I was setting a challenge for myself, seeing if I could bite the bullet and commit; dive into unknown territory. On some level, it all seemed too different and too far away to ever materialise into reality, but it did, and I'm here. SO WEIRD. And now it's almost over. I feel torn - there's a sadness when I think about the people, places and things that I know I'm going to miss (especially the people), but then when I think about going back to what's familiar, I admit, I feel relieved. With all the incredible things I've experienced here, it hasn't been easy, but I'm grateful for that. I'm glad that I got to see a lot of things with my own eyes, meet remarkable people, and learn priceless lessons, not just about the world, but about myself and my role, however insignificant, in it.

Last night was tough - normally the kids come only on Wednesday and Saturday afternoons, but last Sunday I told them to come every afternoon this week and we'd just play games and sing songs and have fun. Man. I don't know how I'm going to go through with leaving them. It's amazing how despite the language barrier, we've still communicated, and connected, and developed relationships with each other. I've gotten very attached to them - they truly brighten my day. They keep threatening to cry when I leave. One girl yesterday kept ignoring me and didn't want to talk, and when I asked her what was wrong, she said that it was because I was leaving. I can't help but feel like by leaving, I'm letting go of a responsibility. I keep trying to think of ways that I can continue being a part of their lives after I go, and gathering email addresses and phone numbers so that I can keep in touch, but it just doesn't feel like enough. I'm almost jealous of the new intern - while she was greeting them yesterday, I just watched, thinking: no, they're my kids, get off my territory, don't replace me! I don't want them to forget me, because my God, I'm not going to forget them.

Don't EVEN get me started on my feelings about leaving my host family. Every night now, one of them will bring up the fact that our time is running out, and I feel this tightness in my chest because I know it's true. I'm going to miss sitting outside together and laughing, I'm going to miss Clara's INCREDIBLE storytelling (this woman has a gift - she can be telling a story about how she got a certain mosquito bite and it's completely riveting). I'm going to miss having visitors stop over in the evenings, sitting in the cool night air, listening to the sound of the language and the animated expression in their voices while they talk. I'm going to miss lying on the straw mat with Elom and Grace while we each read our books on a Sunday afternoon (I've turned them into geeks like me, YES), and playing DJ on my laptop while they show me the latest dance they've choreographed.

3 and a half days. Clara told me she's going to be out of the house on Sunday morning because she doesn't want to see me with my suitcase getting all airport-y. I still can't believe my time is up. People often ask me what I like most about Togo - I don't even have to think about it, it's the people that make this country. I've learned enormous amounts from them, and will never forget the impact they've made on my life. I hope one day I can come back.

A chief principle to guide us

Date: 18 December 2007

Well, another week has passed and time is suddenly starting to feel like it's zooming by. I'm pretty much halfway through my stay here - can't really believe it.


This week's been pretty good - we've been going out to the villages, doing our thing. These visits are organised by the Department of Social Affairs. The program involves about 50 villages in the Maritime Region of Togo, and representatives of Social Affairs in collaboration with CTM prepare presentations in order to sensitise the populations about problems such as violence against children, sexual abuse, child trafficking, depriving children of an education by forcing them to work instead of going to school - serious problems that are very much real, especially in the villages. So our performers, after a serious presentation from the Social Affairs people, do a light-hearted skit - usually gets everyone laughing, and I think on some level it relaxes them so that after the skit, when they are asked about what issues arose, and whether they have any remarks, everyone is very open and willing to talk, sharing experiences, asking questions, and so on.


I've also been taught a few sentences to say in Ewe to introduce the performances and to introduce myself - every time I get a roar of laughter followed by applause. Man, speaking a language you don't know, and not knowing how badly you're butchering it, and then having people laugh or imitate you in a slightly mocking tone, will slightly crush your confidence in that language. I just have to not be self-conscious about it and laugh at myself. It's still fun though. I'm sure they initially expect me to start talking in French, so the look on their face when I start talking in their local language is quite funny.

Now that we're visiting more and more villages, I'm finding it really interesting how you get different responses from the people there. After the first couple of villages, I thought, wow, very encouraging, everyone's all for it, very receptive, all the village chiefs attend it and make sure that everyone knows about it. But this week has been a bit more of a challenge. We've been to a couple of villages where, when we get there, only the Social Affairs folk are there, and maybe a couple of the people who live there, and we end up waiting around for at least an hour for a reasonable group to gather so that we can begin. Yesterday, the chief didn't even bother coming, even though he'd been told about it several times. Everyone seemed really disheartened - one guy told me that a lot of the time the chiefs don't give these problems the weight that they deserve. They choose not to see the problems latent in their communities, and ignore it as if it doesn't exist, or if they acknowledge that they do exist, they deliberately ignore them.

Okay so, chiefs. Slight change of tone but I found this hilarious and couldn't stop laughing for a while. Last week, just before I was leaving to go out for dinner, Elom says, "HEY, WAIT FOR ME, I ate too much so I'll go greet the chief and then I'm coming with you."

Greet the chief...?
Rasha wonders whether something was lost in translation, and what she just missed, but chuckles quietly. Then Clara says to me, "Greet the chief - it means that she wants to go make kaka first so that she'll have space to eat with you."

I stared at her in shock for a while, thinking - um, did you, this matronly, 50+ year old woman who is actually quite strict and extremely religious, just talk to me about poo?

My stare must've begged clarification because she went on to say, "In Ewe, kaka also means chief, so when you say you are going to greet the chief, it means you need to go to the toilet."

At this point, I erupted in laughter. HOW GOOD IS THAT? Greeting the chief. I have to go greet the chief. Oh yeah, he just had to go and greet the chief. Hey, have you greeted the chief today? (Note: I started getting carried away just now, thinking of various ways of incorporating this incredible metaphor into anything poo-related, typed it all out then deleted it because I'm too disgusting).

Greeting the chief huh. Greeeeeting the chief. Can everyone please start using that from now on? Please? Amazing.

Speaking of chiefs (actual chiefs, not number 2) - yesterday we went to the home of the chief (to greet him - HAHAH) that refused to come to the presentation, and about halfway through the visit, the lady next to me turns to me and says quietly, "Oh.. Rasha.. the chief said he would like to marry you."

I laughed. Haha. That's cool, you know, token sentence to say to an unsuspecting Yovo.

She doesn't laugh. She just looks at me, looks back at the chief, and at everyone else in the room who has gone kind of quiet. My eyes shift from right to left.... I think... does he.. want.. uh, an answer?

I nervously laughed again. Hahahahah.

Why is nobody else laughing. The chief says something. She translates, "He said if you have a husband, it's okay, but if you don't have a husband, he will marry you."

What do you mean to say, when you say he will marry me? Do I have a say in the matter? (I'm sensationalising this a little as you can tell)

I smiled demurely. Luckily it was time to go so we all have to go around and shake hands with everyone, when it was my turn to shake the chief's hand, he held it firmly, grinned at me broadly, raised his eyebrows and then gave me an inquisitive thumbs-up, and said, "Ok???"

I jokingly said, "hahaha okay" and we went on our way.
Hopefully that wasn't binding and I haven't just betrothed myself to a 70+ year old toothless man, who I could call kaka if I wanted to.

All In A Day's Work

Date: Wed, 5 Dec 2007

WOW. Today was an amazing day. I finally felt like I was here to do what I came for. Kind of hard to explain - but I'll try. Even though I tried to eliminate all kinds of expectations before coming here, I constantly had this picture in my mind of what I'd be doing, and today was the realisation of that picture. Note that when I say "picture" I mean an actual picture - a certain scene, certain colours, certain people, etc. It was one of those moments where your imagination, your dreams, and reality combine and you feel extremely balanced, and centred, and like everything has come full circle. It was incredible. And it's set in motion events that are probably going to last until the end of my internship. I shall explain.

Okay, so I think I mentioned before that part of what CTM does, is the teenagers/early-twentysomethings go around to various villages and perform skits and songs that aim to sensitise the local populations about children's rights. Today was our first trip out to a couple of the villages - the entire day I had this sense of well-being and wholesomeness. A couple of posts ago I was sort of down and out about the state of the world, but today was like the universe's reply to that - because I saw things, and met people, which reassured me that nothing is static. Progress is being made whether we realise it or not; there are good people in the world - lots of them! And they're doing great things. And even if we don't come into contact with a lot of them, there are forces beyond us, working behind the scenes, making things happen.

I travelled with the Director, and a few of the performers - a very long ride in a rickety old car in the scorching heat, but the entire experience was non-stop enjoyable. We all met up at 6.30am, but good old African time did it's thing and we hit the road at about 8.30am. Fine though (I almost said that I'm getting used to African time, but I'd be lying - getting better slowly though).

Me and a couple of the guys in the skits - Selom (yellow) and Dwak (white):

Squished in the backseat in the rickety old car (clearly I'm pondering some weighty questions about the world [I was actually thinking about how I'd kill for a Coke at this point])

You're probably going to have a really hard time finding me in this picture since I blend in so well.

Outside the home of the village chief

I was very apprehensive about accepting this drink since it smelled like nail polish remover. They assured me there was no alcohol, so I took a sip, nearly died, and thought it was better to leave it at that.

This guy next to me, Selom, is a life-saver. He's become my personal interpreter and it's been SUCH an enormous help. At this event they were talking about the importance of registering births and issuing birth certificates for children, and how that will affect their rights and opportunities in the future - as you can see I'm concentrating very very hard. Oh yes.

What I loved about today was that I saw in front of me people taking initiative to address issues in their communities, and they did it in a way that wasn't blaming anyone, or scolding anyone. It was light-hearted, informative (based on the translation I got), and seeing the looks on the faces of the audience was really cool - lots of nodding and sounds of agreement, lots of smiles, just a very positive atmosphere in general. We're going again tomorrow, and I can't wait. I'm determined now to learn more sentences in Ewe so that I can have some simple conversations with the locals. "My name is Rasha, I live in New Zealand" leaves more to be desired, plus I feel very lame ending it at that.

Will keep posting more pics and more of my rantings! Hope they're not heinously boring :D
By the way, does the system of most recent blog post to least recent post bother anyone else? I find it very unnatural, even though I know it's meant to be more logical. But still. Annoying.